Endnu en øvelse fra Creative Writing, denne gang en parodi af Sværdet i Stenen. Det skal nok blive det sidste, jeg lægger op på engelsk i et stykke tid.
Concerning
The Talon in the Stone
In this chapter, as well as the famous Disney adaption, the moat is ruled by a king, like the human world of the story; a local pike which secures its dominance through fear.
At the end of the chapter Arthur has learned something about the power in fear and might as opposed to other kinds of influence, but he does not like the king of the moat, the pike, very much.
The Talon in the Stone
The Wart
landed on the branch next to his teacher and took a good long look at the scene
ahead of them.
It was a strange forest with big, square trees.
Many colored, long legged creatures walked between the trees.
The Wart knew these creatures, although he did not understand them.
“Which one is that?” asked Merlyn, as one of the creatures passed by them.
It was carrying some kind of metal object in its claws.
“A… carpenter” remembered the Wart.
“And what are they like?”.
“They look for trees, which the humans can live in?”.
“Hmpf… if you think humans act in any way that obvious then you clearly haven’t been listening to my teachings. Carpenters don’t just choose trees, the humans can live in. They also move them”.
“They move the trees?” said the Wart.
“As to have them closer to one another. A very illogical decision seeing as it both time-consuming and increases the likelihood of starting a fire. But humans were never made to be the most intelligent animals on the Earth. Still, there is a thing or two to learn from studying them”.
“Now”, Merlyn continued; “what sort of human would you like to be?”.
The Wart looked down on the strange forest, or “town” as Merlyn called it, and did his best to distinguish the different humans. Some were small, some were big, and some had very strangely formed heads. Like some sort of squirrel.
“I would like to be a fisherman” the Wart said. “They are braver than the clerk, and not quite as slaughterous as the stockbrokers are”.
Merlyn shook his feathers, stood erect and said slowly “Snylrem stnemilpmoc ot enutpen dna lliw eh yldnik tpecca siht yob sa a hsif?”.
Immediately there was a loud scream of trumpets and other such false beaks, that humans used.
The Wart found that his feathers were gone. He found that he had tumbled off the branch, landing with a smack on his side in the “town”. He found that the trees and the ground had grown hundreds of times smaller. He knew that he was turning into a human.
“Oh Merlyn”, he cried, “please come too”.
“For this once I will come” said a yoga instructor at his side. “But in the future you will have to go on your own”.
It was a strange forest with big, square trees.
Many colored, long legged creatures walked between the trees.
The Wart knew these creatures, although he did not understand them.
“Which one is that?” asked Merlyn, as one of the creatures passed by them.
It was carrying some kind of metal object in its claws.
“A… carpenter” remembered the Wart.
“And what are they like?”.
“They look for trees, which the humans can live in?”.
“Hmpf… if you think humans act in any way that obvious then you clearly haven’t been listening to my teachings. Carpenters don’t just choose trees, the humans can live in. They also move them”.
“They move the trees?” said the Wart.
“As to have them closer to one another. A very illogical decision seeing as it both time-consuming and increases the likelihood of starting a fire. But humans were never made to be the most intelligent animals on the Earth. Still, there is a thing or two to learn from studying them”.
“Now”, Merlyn continued; “what sort of human would you like to be?”.
The Wart looked down on the strange forest, or “town” as Merlyn called it, and did his best to distinguish the different humans. Some were small, some were big, and some had very strangely formed heads. Like some sort of squirrel.
“I would like to be a fisherman” the Wart said. “They are braver than the clerk, and not quite as slaughterous as the stockbrokers are”.
Merlyn shook his feathers, stood erect and said slowly “Snylrem stnemilpmoc ot enutpen dna lliw eh yldnik tpecca siht yob sa a hsif?”.
Immediately there was a loud scream of trumpets and other such false beaks, that humans used.
The Wart found that his feathers were gone. He found that he had tumbled off the branch, landing with a smack on his side in the “town”. He found that the trees and the ground had grown hundreds of times smaller. He knew that he was turning into a human.
“Oh Merlyn”, he cried, “please come too”.
“For this once I will come” said a yoga instructor at his side. “But in the future you will have to go on your own”.
The Wart
found it difficult to be a new kind of creature.
It was no good to try and fly like a bird-being, and he only fell down, when he tried.
When he tried moving his legs and grabbing the earth with his talons, he stumbled.
“You have to relax” said Merlyn. “Humans have bigger feet than us, because they don’t have any reflexes. No elegance. There is hardly any technique in walking. In fact, you must move while thinking as little as possible. Which isn’t very hard to do for proper humans, as they rarely think that much in the first place”.
The Wart tried doing as Merlyn said, and found that he were right.
When he tried looking ahead and not think of controlling his feet, he suddenly moved forward.
Already strange thoughts wandered into his mind; things that bothered him, but didn’t matter, old grudges and, for some reason, a sudden urge to sit down and look at a glass square for hours without moving.
Apparently being a human meant doing a whole lot of nothing.
He walked around in circles a few times under the instruction of Merlyn, until the teacher declared him ready to go and see the humans.
It was no good to try and fly like a bird-being, and he only fell down, when he tried.
When he tried moving his legs and grabbing the earth with his talons, he stumbled.
“You have to relax” said Merlyn. “Humans have bigger feet than us, because they don’t have any reflexes. No elegance. There is hardly any technique in walking. In fact, you must move while thinking as little as possible. Which isn’t very hard to do for proper humans, as they rarely think that much in the first place”.
The Wart tried doing as Merlyn said, and found that he were right.
When he tried looking ahead and not think of controlling his feet, he suddenly moved forward.
Already strange thoughts wandered into his mind; things that bothered him, but didn’t matter, old grudges and, for some reason, a sudden urge to sit down and look at a glass square for hours without moving.
Apparently being a human meant doing a whole lot of nothing.
He walked around in circles a few times under the instruction of Merlyn, until the teacher declared him ready to go and see the humans.
They walked
through the village, and as they went past multiple creatures, the Wart started
to notice something. Most of the humans did not look where they were going, but
instead had their eyes fixed at these shiny flat rocks in their hands. Perhaps
they helped them to move better, as they clearly weren’t thinking of anything
else but these strange objects.
The Wart felt sorry for the humans, that they were forced to this kind of behavior instead of looking at the sky or the forest, like he was doing, but he also became very glad that he really was a bird and not a human.
A young college student ran up to Merlyn and the Wart, looking pale with agitation.
He evidently wanted something from them, but could not make up his mind.
“Approach” said Merlyn.
As the man approached, he began shaking and stammered his message.
“I am so sorry, and I know that you aren’t the usual instructor, but Emily is having a bad case of something dreadful. She was going to go for a run, like every other Wednesday, but suddenly she just fell down, and she is barely moving. I think she might have strained something.
Please come and help her. She needs a yoga session, badly”.
“Lead me to her” said Merlyn, “and we shall see what we can do”.
The three of them walked together down a smaller path, upon their errand of mercy.
“Neurotic, these college students” whispered Merlyn. “It is probably a case of nervous hysteria, a matter for the psychologist rather than the physician”.
Emily was lying on the side of the road, with a freshly supplied smoothie-fruit in one hand and one of the shiny flat rocks in the other.
Her whole herd was gathered around her, making comforting remarks like; “I am so sorry for you” and “you always push yourself too much, girl”.
“Well, well, well” said Merlyn “and how is Emily today?”.
The whole herd looked on Merlyn with a deep respect.
“Just awful” said Emily. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that brownie yesterday. Like I ain’t already fat enough”.
“Hum” said Merlyn and rolled something out at the ground, which he laid down on.
“Let’s get you up and running again. Just a few of these relaxing exercises and you will feel alright”.
He began doing a couple of weird movements, which Emily tried to replicate with limited success.
But before they could finish, another kind of human wandered near.
Suddenly all the college students stopped talking, and even Emily stood up, apparently having gotten much better. “It’s him” she said, in a trancelike state.
“What is going on?” the Wart asked Merlyn.
He could not recognize this kind of human with its smooth features and clean fur.
“It is a celebrity, the most dangerous kind of human that exists” Merlyn answered. “All humans are drawn to them because of their magical powers, with which they hypnotize others”.
“Is he king of this town?”.
“He is. Old Jack is his name, but they mostly do not use it. Nor his title.
They just call him J. Watch him, and you will know what is like to be a king”.
J met the Wart’s gaze and approached.
“You are not from around here” he said.
“J” said Merlyn. “I have brought a young professor who would like to learn profess”.
“Profess what?” said J.
“Power”.
“Let him speak for himself.”
“Please” said the Wart “I don’t know what I ought to ask”.
“There is nothing” said J, “except the power which you pretend to seek: power to grind and power to digest, power to seek and power to find. Love is a trick and pleasure is a bait to use against the weak.
There is only power. Power decides everything in the end, and only Might is Right”.
“Now I think it is time for you to go away, young master” said J “for I find this conversation uninteresting and exhausting. I think you ought to go away really almost at once, in case my disillusioned phone should shame you on my great internet profile”.
The Wart had found himself almost hypnotized by the big words, and hardly noticed the smooth object in J’s hand.
He now remembered something Merlyn had said of the terrible magic of the humans, which could have great influence on the whole rest your social-life. Which as far he understood was way more important than any other form of life.
A small eye appeared in the corner of the phone, and just as it winked a most foul wink, the Wart turned around and ran. Before he knew it, he found himself back on the branch again beside Merlyn, with his wings restored and his beak back in it proper shape.
The Wart felt sorry for the humans, that they were forced to this kind of behavior instead of looking at the sky or the forest, like he was doing, but he also became very glad that he really was a bird and not a human.
A young college student ran up to Merlyn and the Wart, looking pale with agitation.
He evidently wanted something from them, but could not make up his mind.
“Approach” said Merlyn.
As the man approached, he began shaking and stammered his message.
“I am so sorry, and I know that you aren’t the usual instructor, but Emily is having a bad case of something dreadful. She was going to go for a run, like every other Wednesday, but suddenly she just fell down, and she is barely moving. I think she might have strained something.
Please come and help her. She needs a yoga session, badly”.
“Lead me to her” said Merlyn, “and we shall see what we can do”.
The three of them walked together down a smaller path, upon their errand of mercy.
“Neurotic, these college students” whispered Merlyn. “It is probably a case of nervous hysteria, a matter for the psychologist rather than the physician”.
Emily was lying on the side of the road, with a freshly supplied smoothie-fruit in one hand and one of the shiny flat rocks in the other.
Her whole herd was gathered around her, making comforting remarks like; “I am so sorry for you” and “you always push yourself too much, girl”.
“Well, well, well” said Merlyn “and how is Emily today?”.
The whole herd looked on Merlyn with a deep respect.
“Just awful” said Emily. “I knew I shouldn’t have eaten that brownie yesterday. Like I ain’t already fat enough”.
“Hum” said Merlyn and rolled something out at the ground, which he laid down on.
“Let’s get you up and running again. Just a few of these relaxing exercises and you will feel alright”.
He began doing a couple of weird movements, which Emily tried to replicate with limited success.
But before they could finish, another kind of human wandered near.
Suddenly all the college students stopped talking, and even Emily stood up, apparently having gotten much better. “It’s him” she said, in a trancelike state.
“What is going on?” the Wart asked Merlyn.
He could not recognize this kind of human with its smooth features and clean fur.
“It is a celebrity, the most dangerous kind of human that exists” Merlyn answered. “All humans are drawn to them because of their magical powers, with which they hypnotize others”.
“Is he king of this town?”.
“He is. Old Jack is his name, but they mostly do not use it. Nor his title.
They just call him J. Watch him, and you will know what is like to be a king”.
J met the Wart’s gaze and approached.
“You are not from around here” he said.
“J” said Merlyn. “I have brought a young professor who would like to learn profess”.
“Profess what?” said J.
“Power”.
“Let him speak for himself.”
“Please” said the Wart “I don’t know what I ought to ask”.
“There is nothing” said J, “except the power which you pretend to seek: power to grind and power to digest, power to seek and power to find. Love is a trick and pleasure is a bait to use against the weak.
There is only power. Power decides everything in the end, and only Might is Right”.
“Now I think it is time for you to go away, young master” said J “for I find this conversation uninteresting and exhausting. I think you ought to go away really almost at once, in case my disillusioned phone should shame you on my great internet profile”.
The Wart had found himself almost hypnotized by the big words, and hardly noticed the smooth object in J’s hand.
He now remembered something Merlyn had said of the terrible magic of the humans, which could have great influence on the whole rest your social-life. Which as far he understood was way more important than any other form of life.
A small eye appeared in the corner of the phone, and just as it winked a most foul wink, the Wart turned around and ran. Before he knew it, he found himself back on the branch again beside Merlyn, with his wings restored and his beak back in it proper shape.
Concerning
The Talon in the Stone
What makes a human different from the rest of
the animals on this planet? Is there truly a difference, a hierarchy of
intelligence and culture, or is there not something to be learned from studying
our fellow inhabitants of Planet Earth?
Such is the thinking of the great wizard Merlyn in T. H. White’s classical children’s novel The Sword in the Stone (1938), which most people remember as a Disney cartoon.
In this tale our young hero, nicknamed The Wart, must learn the ways of the fish and the birds and the mammals of the Earth in order to be prepared for a future position of power.
During these adventures he experiences the strange, and yet familiar, societies of different animals, which in turn tell the reader something about our own world and especially our view of it.
Taking this formula I have turned it on its head and reversed the animal kingdom with our own world.
Specifically I have written a parody on the chapter in which The Wart, or as he is better known; King Arthur, is magically transformed into a fish in order to learn about the nature of power from the hierarchy in a moat.
Such is the thinking of the great wizard Merlyn in T. H. White’s classical children’s novel The Sword in the Stone (1938), which most people remember as a Disney cartoon.
In this tale our young hero, nicknamed The Wart, must learn the ways of the fish and the birds and the mammals of the Earth in order to be prepared for a future position of power.
During these adventures he experiences the strange, and yet familiar, societies of different animals, which in turn tell the reader something about our own world and especially our view of it.
Taking this formula I have turned it on its head and reversed the animal kingdom with our own world.
Specifically I have written a parody on the chapter in which The Wart, or as he is better known; King Arthur, is magically transformed into a fish in order to learn about the nature of power from the hierarchy in a moat.
In this chapter, as well as the famous Disney adaption, the moat is ruled by a king, like the human world of the story; a local pike which secures its dominance through fear.
At the end of the chapter Arthur has learned something about the power in fear and might as opposed to other kinds of influence, but he does not like the king of the moat, the pike, very much.
In my version (called The Talon in the Stone)
I have made it the other way around. Instead of a human learning about power
from animals, the Wart and Merlyn are birds looking down on a human town and
eventually transforming into two of them, in order to look at our society from
a totally different point of view.
In doing so I have exchanged the pike for a celebrity, and the mystical, non-scientific “medicine” of the world of the fish has instead become yoga.
Mostly I have tried to keep the same style as the original novel, making it more fairytale like, while also following Mary Ann Rishel’s advice on creating a parody from Writing Humor[1].
This way the story can be understood by everyone, but if you know the text it is based on, you can get more from it, since it is a very direct parody of it. Despite of this, the reader should be able to understand the fairytale qualities and therefore recognize the genre, even if the person has not read The Sword in the Stone or seen the movie adaptation.
The style and structure of the story is the same, although much shorter, while the content and time period is something else entirely. I originally wanted to write it in a medieval setting, but decided it was more fun to have it take place in a modern world.
It is also kind of fitting to have a bit of an anachronism when making a parody of T. H. White’s novel, as he had a tendency to do so himself. Of course, in his novel modern elements and ideas are introduced to the medieval setting in order to comment on the present via the past, specifically to criticize violent means of achieving goals and the justification of war[2].
As such ants become communists in the novel. And when Kay, Arthur’s stepbrother, makes a statement about how might should be used to force weaker minds to adapt to one’s own idea of a perfect society, Merlyn, who knows the future, makes a not so subtle comparison with Adolph Hitler.
In comparison I have Old Jack, the celebrity, being described as a king by Merlyn and the Wart, even though his status is something quite different. This is not only a reference to the original novel, where the pike with the same name is named king of the moat, but also a joke and a recognition of the genre and the style, my parody imitates.
My version takes the fairytale elements and the language from the book, but inserts it into modern times instead. Merlyn’s spell of transformation for example is taken directly from the source material and is perhaps the most direct textual reference to White’s novel.
“Snylrem stnemilpmoc ot enutpen dna lliw eh yldnik tpecca siht yob sa a hsif?”[3].
The words mean nothing, but their meaninglessness help create a childish atmosphere.
The effect in the original novel is both to charm and relax the reader, which enabled White to write more political stuff without being taken too seriously.
Like the original novel, my intention with the genre is to look at something we know but from a rather different angle. Such is the case when Merlyn describes a couple of university students to the Wart using an edited quote originally about some roaches living in the moat:
In doing so I have exchanged the pike for a celebrity, and the mystical, non-scientific “medicine” of the world of the fish has instead become yoga.
Mostly I have tried to keep the same style as the original novel, making it more fairytale like, while also following Mary Ann Rishel’s advice on creating a parody from Writing Humor[1].
This way the story can be understood by everyone, but if you know the text it is based on, you can get more from it, since it is a very direct parody of it. Despite of this, the reader should be able to understand the fairytale qualities and therefore recognize the genre, even if the person has not read The Sword in the Stone or seen the movie adaptation.
The style and structure of the story is the same, although much shorter, while the content and time period is something else entirely. I originally wanted to write it in a medieval setting, but decided it was more fun to have it take place in a modern world.
It is also kind of fitting to have a bit of an anachronism when making a parody of T. H. White’s novel, as he had a tendency to do so himself. Of course, in his novel modern elements and ideas are introduced to the medieval setting in order to comment on the present via the past, specifically to criticize violent means of achieving goals and the justification of war[2].
As such ants become communists in the novel. And when Kay, Arthur’s stepbrother, makes a statement about how might should be used to force weaker minds to adapt to one’s own idea of a perfect society, Merlyn, who knows the future, makes a not so subtle comparison with Adolph Hitler.
In comparison I have Old Jack, the celebrity, being described as a king by Merlyn and the Wart, even though his status is something quite different. This is not only a reference to the original novel, where the pike with the same name is named king of the moat, but also a joke and a recognition of the genre and the style, my parody imitates.
My version takes the fairytale elements and the language from the book, but inserts it into modern times instead. Merlyn’s spell of transformation for example is taken directly from the source material and is perhaps the most direct textual reference to White’s novel.
“Snylrem stnemilpmoc ot enutpen dna lliw eh yldnik tpecca siht yob sa a hsif?”[3].
The words mean nothing, but their meaninglessness help create a childish atmosphere.
The effect in the original novel is both to charm and relax the reader, which enabled White to write more political stuff without being taken too seriously.
Like the original novel, my intention with the genre is to look at something we know but from a rather different angle. Such is the case when Merlyn describes a couple of university students to the Wart using an edited quote originally about some roaches living in the moat:
“Neurotic, these college students” whispered
Merlyn. “It is probably a case of nervous hysteria, a matter for the
psychologist rather than the physician”.
Regarding the final product, I do wish that I
could have made it longer, but then again I did not want to recreate the
original story page by page.
I kept some of the dialogue from the novel, but also changed some in order to make it fit better.
Surprisingly I did not have to really change the pike’s speech at the end, as much as I just removed a few lines and reshuffled the rest, and suddenly it fit the “monarch-celebrity” perfectly.
I kept some of the dialogue from the novel, but also changed some in order to make it fit better.
Surprisingly I did not have to really change the pike’s speech at the end, as much as I just removed a few lines and reshuffled the rest, and suddenly it fit the “monarch-celebrity” perfectly.
[1] Rishel, Mary Ann: Writing Humor,
Wayne State University Press, 2002, pp. 208-213
[2] Bould, Mark & Vint, Sherryl:
“Political Readings”, red. af Edward James & Farah Mendlesohn, The
Cambridge Companion to Fantasy Literature, University Printing House,
Cambridge, 2012, p. 109
[3] White, T. H., The Once and
Future King, HarperVoyager, 1958/2015, p. 43
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